The Kennedy Assassination: A Headteacher’s Perspective

February 11, 2008

This November will mark the 45th anniversary of the assassination of President John F. Kennedy. Much has been written about this event, and experts from many disciplines have attempted to find out exactly who was responsible for the death of the President.

However, one area of expertise has been sadly neglected, that of the Headteacher. In the interview below Jim Bulmer, Headteacher of Stafford Grove school gives us his insights into the matter:

So tell me, do you think Lee Harvey Oswald was the assassin? Or do you think there may have been a conspiracy?

I think we have to believe Oswald when he said he didn’t shoot the President.

But the FBI and the Warren Commission concluded that he did.

Well, I’m sure there were faults on both sides.

Both sides?

Yes, both sides. Even if Oswald did shoot Kennedy then I think we should at least look at what Kennedy did to provoke it.

I’m sorry, are you blaming Kennedy for his own murder?

Yes. I don’t think we can hide from the fact that plenty of other people drive through Dallas and don’t get shot in the head. At the very least he must have had a poor relationship with the assassin.

What do you mean by “a poor relationship”?

Well, he clearly didn’t make an effort to get to know his assassin on a one-to-one basis, to build the kind of relationship that encourages people not to shoot you.

Surely that wouldn’t have been possible? A president can hardly be expected to go out and befriend all possible assassins.

If he wasn’t doing that then I don’t think he was a suitable person to be president. Being president is all about relationships. It’s not rocket science. You have to establish solid routines for assassin management. You can’t just complain about other people shooting you.

I think people will have trouble accepting this point of view. If Oswald was the assassin then he was to blame for his actions, not Kennedy?

I don’t see why anyone would think that. There were three other presidents during Oswald’s lifetime and he didn’t assassinate any of the others. I think it’s obvious that President Kennedy lacked the appropriate skills in this area. He failed to make his presidency interesting enough. It’s not like it was twenty years earlier when a president could just sit in the Oval Office making decisions. Psychotic assassins need more than that. He should have made his presidency more interactive.

I see. And does the Kennedy Assassination tell us anything about American society?

Yes, it does. Part of the problem here is that nobody else was allowed to be president of the United States. You can’t just let a handful of people each century become president of the united States and write off everybody else as failures. If you are going to tell people that they aren’t president then it’s no wonder they go around shooting other people. It’s not rocket science.

Well what do you suggest?

We should make everybody President. If everyone had full presidential powers then nobody would feel left out.

Wouldn’t that create complete chaos? If everyone was president, who would actually be in charge?

Well I hear that sort of argument all the time. There wouldn’t be any problems if people just kept an eye on things, coming out of their rooms more often, taking the time to build relationships.

Surely you can’t just blame a victim and claim that anything that anybody does wrong is a result of some people being more successful that others?

Of course we can. That’s how we’ve been running education for decades.


  1. Oh, my gosh! I hope this head teacher is NOT teaching history! In fact, I recently wrote a series of two posts detailing WHAT Oswald’s motivation to shoot Kennedy was based on:

    Part I can be found here

    Dedicated Elementary Teacher Overseas

  2. Oldandrew,

    This is wickedly-true satire. It is unfortunate that those most needing to benefit from it could never understand it.


  3. […] Share a Few Laughs: Scenes from The Battleground pokes fun at the idea of blaming the victim in education. […]

  4. It took me a few lines, but I actually laughed out loud after this one. Good show, good show.

  5. Priceless! :D

    Ah, yes. North of the border we now have Restorative Practice, where victim and perpetrator are expected to meet, so that the perpetrator can Understand the Impact of his Actions.

    Well, that’s going to work, isn’t it…

  6. Fabulous. I nearly fell off my chair laughing when “the head” said that maybe Kennedy should have made his presidency more “interactive”!

    And yes – I think that Damien and Chantelle from my year 9s should definitely have a turn at being leaders of the free world!

  7. In fact, you could even say that Kennedy should be blamed for Jack Ruby too.

    Great post.

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